Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria isn’t exactly shaking his moneymaker these days when it comes to the players (60 percent reduction in salaries this season), but elsewhere in Marlins Park, anything goes. For instance: if you happen to be sitting anywhere near the Clevelander Bar inside the stadium, well, cover you kids’ eyes or move to another section, I guess. Your husband? Yeah, he’ll be along in a minute.

Viewers of the Fox South-Florida TV broadcast of the Miami Marlins game on Monday night were treated to the scene you see below as they came out of commercial. As Kramer would say: “Hoochie Mama.” As a parent might say: I’d prefer my kids didn’t see that.

Folks in the stands, presumably, were treated to the skin show as well.

I’m a prude, you say? Yeah, I suppose that parents could make the most of it and turn it into a learning experience. “You see son, north of the equator, the tassels twirl clockwise. South of the equator, counter-clockwise.”

And in the American League, they’re mostly fake breasts.

Well, I’m as forward thinking as the next guy, as long as the next guy isn’t Hugh Hefner. But if I’m a parent bringing my kids to a Marlins game (purely hypothetical, I know), shouldn’t I have a reasonable expectation that they won’t be subjected to something like this?

I will say, however, that these girls have excellent form — especially the one in the middle. Fundamentals are so important in the exotic dancing game.

Photo & GIF: Business Insider.

If you’re a fan carrying a sign protesting the way that Jeff Loria is running the Marlins, of course you are summarily ejected from Marlins Park for “creating a disturbance.” However if you’re a half-naked woman dancing in full view of spectators and, briefly, a TV audience, well, that’s perfectly fine.

As we discussed on Tuesday, three rather buxom exotic dancers were shown shaking their lady parts during a Fox Sports-Florida telecast of the Braves-Marlins game on Monday. The brief show was visible as the broadcast came out of commercial … plus, one assumes, to a bunch of people in the stands.

The window opens into the Clevelander, a restaurant/bar inside Marlins Park that includes a swimming pool, go-go dancers, tasty booze and all manner of fun stuff. Think the cantina scene from Star Wars, only without the blue elephant.

Here, thanks to Busted Coverage, is a closer look at those three dancers. More photos, plus a body-painting contest, over at Busted Coverage. (Link quite probably not safe for work).

So the question remains: is this kosher for a baseball game, with kids and nuns and sometimes pets in attendance? I guess we’ll find out.

“@whereskernan:I can see the girls dancing in the Clevelander from my press box seat” – what r u covering? Beach volleyball?

— NYPost_Cannizzaro (@MarkCannizzaro) March 14, 2013

It has come to our attention that some people are attending the Masters to watch something other than golf. And we’re not talking about the azaleas. The Masters is the unofficial start of the golf season, and the official start of the WAG-watching season — in the photo here you’ve got your Paulina Gretzky (girlfriend of Dustin Johnson and daughter of Wayne Gretzky); Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Kandi Harris (married to Hunter Mahan); and skier Lindsey Vonn (keeping close tabs on watching her boyfriend Tiger Woods).

Gretzky was on hand on Wednesday at the event’s annual Par 3 Contest, while Harris and Vonn circulated today as the tournament officially got underway.

But that’s just the tip of the hot golfer WAG iceberg. You’ve also got your Nel-Mare Oosthuizen (wife of South African Louis Oosthuizen); Sonya Toms (wife of David Toms); Alicia Fernandez-Castano (wife of Spain’s Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano); and tennis star Anna Ivanovic (girlfriend of Adam Scott), to name just a few.

And there was a Caroline Wozniacki sighting on Wednesday, as Rory McIlroy’s significant other was caddying for him during a practice round.

It’s not exactly news that pro athletes attract hot babes, but it is still kind of surprising to me that this occurs in golf. Did it used to be this way? Did we ogle the wives and girlfriends of Lee Trevino, Arnold Palmer and Gary Player? I don’t recall golfers babing it out like this: the WAG meter seems to currently be at an unprecedented level.

Perhaps we can thank Tiger for this: he broke the golf-and-hot-chick barrier, and others are reaping the rewards. Or maybe it’s because there’s more money in golf now, although I hate to be that cynical. Of course I could be wrong and golfers have been attracting the babes all along. Sam Snead’s wife? Amazing. They didn’t call him Slammin’ Sammy for nothing.

Photos: Getty Images.

Yes, a thing called the Bikini Basketball Association exists, and it will begin play on June 22 — let the record show that the first game will be between the Miami Spice and the home Illinois Heart. That same day, the Las Vegas Desire play at the Houston Inferno.

But wait: there’s another bikini choice on the horizon. The eight-team Beautiful Ballers League is scheduled for a June 1 debut. Holy cow, which league will prevail? Let’s take a closer look.

The other entrant in the five-team Bikini Basketball Association is the Philadelphia Diamonds. Schedule here.

Now, the first thing you should know about the BBA is that there are no actual bikinis. We’ll let them explain.

The women, however, won’t actually be playing in bikinis, as the league’s name suggests. They’ll wear tight sports bras and spandex shorts — similar to Olympic volleyball or track and field athletes. Some big-name sponsors have reached out to the BBA to become the official outfitter of the league, but the league is keeping that quiet until an official partner has been chosen.

The BBA was created by Cedric Mitchell and A.J. McArthur in 2012 and was originally to consist of eight teams: the Atlanta Peaches, Chicago Desire, Hollywood Hotties, Los Angeles Ice, Miami Spice, New York Knockouts, Minnesota Mist and Orlando LadyCats.

And the Peaches, in fact, had signed Deiondra Sanders, daughter of Deion Sanders.

Forbes.com, via the BBA site:

Incorporating sex into athletics is the biggest criticism the BBA receives. McArthur said that was expected.

“We have our goals and we’re keeping our eyes on these goals,” he said. “We’re sticking to our guns and we know (the critics) will come around.”

But then things began unraveling. Donovan Price, owner/GM of the Chicago Desire, decided to pull his team out. Others followed. Now the league consists of the five teams you see above (no official word as of yet on where the games will be played). Also, controversy!

Getting the league started has provided some bumps in the road along the way. The BBA caught flack in September when a flyer for tryouts with the Miami Spice was found to be too risque, and the Miami-Dade County Public Schools system wouldn’t allow tryouts to be held in its schools’ gyms. The Spice was also criticized for revealing a logo that was very similar to the defunct Seattle Supersonics’ logo. They have since altered their logo to look much differently.

The Atlanta Peaches (with Sanders), Orlando LadyCats and Minnesota Mist split off to help form a rival league, the Beautiful Ballers League. Joining those three teams will be the Miami Storm, Brooklyn Diamondz, Los Angeles Dolls, Birmingham Belles and New Orleans Spirit.

Tryouts currently going on in all those cities if you’re interested. Will these players wear bikinis? That’s unclear at this point — the BBL website is short on details, and no one is calling us back. Just know that you have two “bikini” basketball leagues to choose from now, where before you had none. America is great.

Brazilian skateboard babes say the damnedest things! Like, “I’m so fucking happy” into an ESPN PA microphone. After Leticia Bufoni won the Women’s Street final on her last run (87.33), ESPN’s Jordan Whitley tried to get her spill her guts about how she felt at the moment.

Answer: (fucking) happy.

The best part is how Whitley panics after the crowd erupts, responding with the “you can say that in Brasil” line. Um, but Jordan, it’s on American television. You can’t say that on American television. You know we’re live, right? Or were you just commenting on Brazil’s lax censorship laws? And, evidently, you CAN say “that.” Just ask Big Papi and the 37,000 people who were at Fenway yesterday. The bottom line is Leticia Bufoni is a bad ass who rocks at skating and is extremely easy on the eyes. We wish her the best of fuck. I mean luck. Ahem.

H/T Deadspin

Folks, it’s time to once again check in on our favorite sports-related lady, Paulina Gretzky. Based on how well posts like these do, it looks like many of you are already familiar with her. For those who don’t know, she’s the daughter of Wayne Gretzky, and she seems dead set on sending her father to an early grave by way of posting scandalous photos to social media outlets. She’s also dating Dustin Johnson.

Paulina has been up to her usual antics — i.e., making us all feel like creeps as we oogle her in various states of undress. So to ease your troubled mind, we’ve included our favorite (read: least-favorite) creepy comments left on her Instagram page from each photo. That way you can rest easy, knowing at least one person out there is, at the very least, creepier than you. (Unless you are the author of one of these comments. In which case, ew.)

These are recent photos: They start with one taken yesterday and go back about six weeks. That’s about as far as we were willing to wade through you Internet creeps. Enjoy.

Follow her on Instagram at @pmgypsy, or check back here for more breathless updates.

Yesterday we brought you the story of Carolyn Moos, the women Jason Collins was once set to marry before he called off their engagement back in 2009. While Moos was surprised at the time, the way things ended makes a lot more sense nowadays.

And while we know that Moos was a former Stanford basketball player, we didn’t quite know her full back story. Well, here’s a little bit more information for you, via Busted Coverage:

Moos, 34, is a former Stanford basketball player who now works as a personal trainer, models and acts a nutritional consultant.

It appears that Moos is very hands on with her work, and likes to combine her various professional duties when possible. For example, in this video, she is modeling, personal training, consulting — doing it all, really:

Turns out there are a ton of these videos on her YouTube page.

Ms. Moos, I’m sorry if you suffered any embarrassment as a result of Jason’s admission (not to mention this follow up post), but you seem like every man’s dream and will undoubtedly have suitors banging on your door any minute now. So, silver lining?

The Maxim “Hot 100″ is being revealed, slowly, as we type. Ronda Rousey has made this storied list, at No. 29. Since Ronda Rousey is an athlete, we are obligated to post the picture on our esteemed web page. Here is the photo of the athlete in the magazine that declares her as Super Hot.

Among other notables revealed are: Taylor Swift (No. 13), Jessica Chastain (No. 72) and Robinson Cano (No. 99).

We sincerely hope you enjoyed our latest installment of shameful page-click-pandering generates shameful-reader-enjoyment. We’re all on the same team, guys.

[With Leather]

Maria Sharapova is on the cover of the June issue of Esquire Latin America. Sports Illustrated describes the photo shoot as “beachy.” Maria Sharapova does indeed look beachy, and Maria Sharapova looking beachy explains why this strange-sounding decision is more savvy than strange. Enjoy the clicks, Esquire Latin America. You are giving the people what they want, and as we can confirm, that is an admirable pursuit, despite its taboo status in the internet world.

Slideshow time! All photos via Esquire.

Via SI:

“It’s the first time an international edition of the magazine went with two different covers for its print and online editions.”

No, that information is not interesting, but we felt compelled to give you some cold, hard facts in addition to the pictures. You’re welcome; we are the best.

[The Big Lead]

And not only does it benefit charity, it benefits us. I love it when a plan comes together.

Michaela Guaracini-Mazzochi is a former Villanova cheerleader (see left) who is now the Eagles’ top-rated rookie (to us). On Monday she accompanied the Eagles cheerleaders for their annual calendar shoot, destination various beach spots on the Jersey Shore.

Proceeds for the calendar will go to the Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund, so my advice is to buy several and use them to paper the walls of your studio apartment.

OK, slideshow time.

Photos: Facebook/Philadelphia Eagles.

H/T Anthony Carmalingo.

Yesterday marked the end of the University of Michigan’s official disassociation with former players Chris Webber, Maurice Taylor and Louis Bullock (and the late Robert Traylor). For 10 years, Michigan had to pretend like C-Webb and his Fab Five crew didn’t kick Big 10 ass, and Webber had to pretend like he jumped straight to the pros and just had an affinity for maize and blue on his own.

Now the ban has been lifted, and people are talking about both sides — mainly, Webber and Michigan, because no offense to Louis Bullock but, dude, who are you again? — kissing and making up. The Michigan AD Dave Brandon, sounding a little starstruck, was quoted as saying: “I’ve never met any of those guys, and I am looking forward to meeting them… If any of those guys are interested in meeting with me, that would be great.”

What’s Webber’s take on the lifted ban? This:

twitter.com/realchriswebbe…

— Chris Webber (@realchriswebber) May 8, 2013

So much symbolism in one photo! The Michigan jersey! The attractive girl! The timing! Is he using Aaliyah in his jersey to symbolize his collegiate career’s rise from the dead? (Is it too soon to make a connection like that?) Is it just that Aaliyah was super fly and wearing his gear?Whatever the meaning, it looks like Webber is excited to rekindle his romance with the girl that shunned him for taking money from an older man, all those years ago.

[h/t @cjzero]

I’ll never forget where I was when I heard the news back in July of 2012 that Angels’ pitcher C.J. Wilson was dating Brazilian supermodel Lisalla Monenegro. It was … it … the dry cleaners? Starbucks? I got nuthin’. In fact, until the news today that he had proposed to her, I didn’t even know they were dating.

But yeah, he proposed (see giant shiny rock below). So, well done, C.J. Wilson. Well done indeed. You’ve taken the Tom Brady model and run with it. Business Insider:

Montenegro is a Brazilian runway model who has also been in ads for fashion brands like H&M, Michael Kors, and Armani. Currently, Montenegro is the face of Maybelline.

This is conjecture on my part, but I believe that Wilson would not propose until Lisalla learned to call his team by its proper name. “No! For the one-hundredth time, it’s the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim!”

I literally can’t have imagined a more perfect proposal. So excited to marry @str8edgeracer !! #Engaged twitpic.com/cp7ocd

— LISALLA(@Lisalla) May 8, 2013

UPDATE:

@sportsgrid lol unlike the “no decisions” he’s used to

— Danny Valentin (@dannyv128) May 9, 2013

Because there are only 99 good-looking celebrities in the world today, the readers of Maxim magazine were able to find space on their highly regarded list ranking the relative attractiveness of women for Lennay Kekua. You know, that smokin’ hot figment of Ronaiah Tuiasosopo’s and Manti Te’o's collective imagination?

Though they don’t use Lennay’s actual name — because she doesn’t exist, you know? — Maxim mocks up a pretty realistic interpretation of what she must look like in a bikini:

Is there a reason she’s number 69? Are they saying that Diane O’Meara, the girl whose photos stood in for Kekua, is hotter than Jessica Chastain? Kat Dennings? Aubrey Plaza? Zooey Deschanel? Or is the idea of her hotter? And how do those aforementioned ladies feel about being beat by an empty bikini? At least Ronda Rousey placed higher, or else some asses would have gotten beat.

I wish I had been there when lady #101 got the call that she just missed the cut. “Yeah, hey, Jennifer Aniston? Sorry you got kept off the list this year. You got beat by a picture of a bikini. I wish you were still with Brad! Will there be a Friends reunion? Jennifer? Hello?”

Because they definitely call women up to tell them they didn’t make the list.

[Buzzfeed Sports]

A search for Kate Upton on our lovely sports blog turns up five pages, because she is arguably the most attractive women’s basketball/volleyball/softball/tennis player in the world…

Oh, right, she’s not an athlete. But she’s tangentially related to the sports world, with her two Sports Illustrated covers and her two notable relationships, one understandably with pitcher Justin Verlander, and one massive brain fart with “quarterback” Mark Sanchez (the quotation marks always get the scathing tone across).

Alas, we have justified putting Kate Upton on our sports blog. She recently did a photo shoot for Vogue. She survived and inspired this slideshow.

[Vogue]

I’m trying to wrap my head around this. So Manti Te’o's fake girlfriend got him invited to a Hollywood nightclub party, where he met up with these women? Nicely done, I guess. The new San Diego Chargers linebacker showed up at the Maxim 100 party at Hollywood’s Create Nightclub on Wednesday, due to his fake girlfriend making the magazine’s world’s hottest 100 women list (No. 69). Hopefully that spot on the list will be the final official Manti Te’o fake girlfriend joke (R.I.P.). But don’t be surprised if it isn’t.

Anyway, this photo (via Busted Coverage) features Manti hanging out with model/actress/Tennessee grad Courtney Caldwell and professional beach volleyball player/USC graduate Jess Gysin. Word on the street is that Gysin is Jimmy Claussen’s girlfriend.

Then, this happened:

That’s Melanie Collins of Yahoo! sports, who when she’s not interviewing Kobe Bryant or doing commercials for Sheets Energy Strips, is doing this:

Yeeps.

Sadly for Manti, she’s also taken, by Florida Panthers’ Scottie Upshall. I’m sure he kept working the room, however.

Gratuitous Melanie Collins below.

Kate Upton first came to everyone’s attention when she made the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue in 2011. Since then, she’s graced other magazines, gotten close to Justin Verlander, been hit on by Wolverines, appeared on the talk show circuit and done other things that usually included being attractive and barely clothed. Not that we’re complaining.

But the swimsuit issue isn’t where she got her start. Her first SI photo shoot ever took place in the Philippines back in 2010. SI editor MJ Day Instagram’d the info sheet for said shoot yesterday. The photo received many likes. Can you see why?

Theory: There is no description because the person filling out the sheet went into shock.

By the way, if you thought this was going to be about Upton way, way before she was a mega-supermodel — like, a kid — sorry to disappoint you, but this is all we’ve got on that front (via Hollywoodite):

Yeah, we didn’t think you’d find that as interesting. Cute kid though.

[BI Sports]

The new UFC 360 magazine is coming out…and in a truly strange move to try and sell copies (will it work on a young, predominantly-male demographic?!?!?), the editors have chosen very attractive UFC Octagon Girl, Arianny Celeste, to model in a bikini on the cover.

Here is the cover:

But what would this post be without a slideshow? Answer: truly vacuous. And we aren’t like that, you guys. Here is a slideshow of Arianny Celeste.

[Busted Coverage]

It’s an all-out invasion of our nation’s MLB parks by beauty pageant winners lately, and we approve. Last week Miss Miami sung the National Anthem at a Marlins game. Then on Monday, Mabelynn Capeluj (Miss California USA) and Cassidy Wolf (Miss California Teen USA) threw tandem first pitches at the Cardinals-Padres game at Petco Park.

Degree of difficulty: high, because Capeluj was wearing high heels, and Wolf was sporting clogs.

That had disaster written all over it, but Capeluj actually threw a strike. Her velocity needs work, but to my knowledge she becomes the first person in history to throw a strike while wearing high heels at an MLB stadium. Although we don’t know what A-Rod does in his off hours.

Wolf’s delivery was less impressive, but she didn’t topple over or otherwise make a fool of herself, so cheers to her as well. It could have been much worse.

Video here.

Thank you @padres for having me throw the opening pitch! It was so much fun! #MissCaliforniaUSA twitter.com/RealMissCAUSA/…

— Mabelynn Capeluj (@RealMissCAUSA) May 21, 2013

vine.co/v/b9r5FjTKzww

— Mabelynn Capeluj (@MabelynnCapeluj) May 21, 2013

More Miss California USA in the slideshow below:

Photo: Associated Press.

In a bit of meta-photobombing, GQ appeared to give Ken Jeong license to photobomb their Kate Upton shoots for a day. Watch as that dude whose dick you saw in “The Hangover” pretends said dick is actually a pool noodle while Kate Upton gives a seductive over-the-jeans pseudo-footjob to some guy whose life I wish I had, below.

However tenuous this video’s connection to sports may be (Reminder: Kate Upton was once in Sports Illustrated, giving us the right — nay, the responsibility — to keep you updated on her happenings), we hope you laugh. We kinda sorta did. We were distracted. By Kate Upton. You understand, don’t you?

[GQ]

There’s a rule: Whichever football player, who is already quite wealthy and has it more or less made, would show off to the general public by posting a photo of a beautiful woman making him breakfast, they shall receive a slideshow of no less than 10 (ten) photos of said woman in various states of undress for us to ogle. For the night is dark, and full of lecherous dudes who will now be fapping to your girl.

Meet Chantel Jeffries, a model. This is the biography posted on her official website, verbatim:

Anyone who knows Chantel Jeffries, knows this is a it girl on the rise. Starting from modeling at a young age, Chantel has stormed the internet as a hazel-eyed beauty reigning daily as most popular on Instagram. From this success and being well known on the underground urban model circuit, Draya from VH1 Basketball Wives enlisted Chantel Jeffries to be a urban model for the launch of her two most sought after product lines, Mint-Swim and Fine Ass Girls.

Chantel Jeffries has been linked to some of the most popular, handsome, eligible bachelors in the sports and hip hop. Most recently dating Justin Combs, son of P Diddy Sean Combs and Desean Jackson of the Phildelphia Eagles.

So she dated Lil’ Diddy and models a line of clothes called “Fine Ass Girls,” huh? Okay, I’ve read enough. Photo time.

All photos via Instagram.

[Crossing Broad, via The Big Lead]